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Remembrance

Today I want to remember that time where I was sitting outside the front of Jamaa Badr, the large mosque in my new neighborhood of Agdal here in Rabat.

It was a pleasantly chilly evening and I was worn out after quite a long day of medina wandering and the long walk to school. I found myself a good location to have a seat outside the mosque while waiting for a friend I was to have dinner with. As I sat there, head between my shoulders, elbows resting on my knees, enjoying the November breeze, a passing woman did a double take and took a few steps back to me with her pocketbook in hand. The next thing I knew she was trying to push her zakat into my hand! I wish I had been prepared with the proper Arabic phrase which would graciously repel her humble attempt at alms. The best I could do was to pull my hands to my chest and tell her "Ah non, merci". Then I felt sufficiently pathetic enough to stand up and get over the aches in my legs before heading off to tell this story one time only.

Oh the small moments in life!

Motivational Speaker

Having heard my fair share of success stories, motivational speeches, and "take a look at yourself" talks through my time, I didn't think the pairing of a few together could be such a ground-shaking experience. A "coaching" session with a professor, a slightly inebriated "discussion" with a friend, and reading an article by a favorite musician/writer/producer of mine all about plans and paths to success and becoming one's self carried me to an internal precipice upon which I found myself saying these words to myself: "It's clear that I'm going somewhere, but how I'll get there and just where isn't so important right now" I've come across the cherished motivation that had, until recently, been missing in an otherwise enviable life-situation.
Each and every one of my interests surely has roots in a basic need that I have. I'll examine them here with the purpose of categorizing a daily agenda of sorts.
Get lost once each day: My affection for foreign-ness, whether in the form of a language or the physical terrain I inhabit, designates for me a willingness to go outside of my comfort zone. This becomes the foremost task of every day. Take a walk or have a talk in unfamiliar territory.

Learn something new each day: Reading and writing are the oldest of academic interests. These have always been included in my facebook and myspace "Interests" sections so it's safe to say I enjoy expanding my cognitive capacity so often as possible.

Get found once each day: The undying, yet intriguingly sharp, curiosity I hold for maps and geography in the more general sense has outlasted the test of time. It signifies a longing for belonging somewhere. May be accomplished by yoga, meditation, or exercise.

Make a statement: Love for music, art, cinema, and poetry wakens my sense of self-expression and opinions ought to be stated, not withheld. Whether through creation of something that wasn't previously in existence or modifying something that does certainly exist, I'll make a statement wherever I can.

Be selfish: It's true, I'm human. Never before having had to take care of my actual basic needs before, living here in Morocco on my own has taught me how doing so can be fun. Under that constant state of care, it is easy to put others' moral opinion first and then to mold your own standing. But I'm learning that I can continue to have fun and be respectful of others while searching for an option in my daily choices that suits my needs rather than compromises my welfare.

It is to be noted that I definitely had motivation during my first five months in Morocco, but the motivation was moving me to be more and more dislocated and floated in a solution of uncertain circumstances. My internship in Turkey is to be credited with sparking me to take myself more seriously. Again, thank you for reading and stop by again.

Tatlı rüyalar

In other words: sweet dreams. Six weeks later and I'm back in Istanbul. It feels like so much longer, in truth. Istiklal Caddesi is one of the livliest places you can visit on a Saturday night and finding yourself alone there is alright, just as long as you really know how to people watch. Musicians will play, and wanderers will gather to listen! Dogs will be walked and couples will stroll as late an hour as 2 o'clock in the morning! Party-goers will shout and fashionistas will strut!
I won't say goodbye, because I don't feel like I'm leaving this place. In fact, it has instilled itself in me. Unfortunately, these feelings don't ward off the pit that opens in my stomach when I think on those I've met and that which I've seen here. There seems to me to be no shortage of good times to be had. Shutting off my mind is the problem and I can't be sure how well I'll sleep tonight seeing as my two roommates have managed to occupy all four beds.

Come back again and read my thoughts in a few weeks